Bard of Filth Competition

TUMB 04/10

Examples of dirty llimericks the Professor first spoke for James as examples of the types of poetry the Bard of Filth competition would be considering"

“There once was a man from Nantucket “Whose dick was so long he could suck it “He said with a grin “While wiping his chin “If my ear were a hole, I could fuck it.”

“There was an old mayor of Bombay, “Who fell asleep in his office one Sunday, “He awoke with a scream, "’What, another wet dream? “This comes of not fucking since Monday."

TUMB 07/13

Examples of dirty limericks offered by Anna Forsythe, in first meeting with Brownstone:

“Jane came home after a year, From her trip to a land that was near. A place barren of hills, Where she learned many skills, From fucking men after a beer.”

“The professor is studying mass, And he teaches many a class, But he comes home from work, Too tired to smirk, And still fucks his wife in the ass.”

TUMB 07/18 Examples of Limericks Brownstone gave the Professor as samples of what he might come up with:

“There once was a man they called James, Who loved meat cooked with open flames, His house got burned down, Which gave him a frown, So he kicked ass without taking names.”

“There once was a man they called Brock, Who worked like a bitch ‘round the clock, A vacation he earned, For the lessons he’d learned, Like fucking your mom with his cock.”

TUMB 07/26 Limericks used at the Competition.

By Brownstone, the first to go:

“There once was a man they called Brock, Who worked like a bitch ‘round the clock, A vacation he earned, For the lessons he’d learned, Like fucking your mom with his cock.”

The Professor's rebuttal: “There was a young sailor named Bates, Who went off to sea wearing skates, But a fall on his cutlass, Has rendered him nutless, Poor fucker’s now useless on dates."

The Last Round:

By the Professor - The Professor’s fourth and final salvo left James reeling, if only because he hadn’t realized the rhyming potential of Dolores.

James rebuttal: “A beautiful woman named Shay, Who was well used to getting her way, Took a liking to James, Her sweet spot he slayed, And she couldn’t walk straight the next day.”

The Professor retained his title of Bard of Filth.