07 - Fight Fire With Fire

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The Unbelievable Mr Brownstone

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The Drow are back. Unfortunately, the Drow are looking to get hold of Alison. An order to locate the princess means they need to find and deal with Brownstone. They will have to go through him first. Brownstone is pulling his company together, working on his relationship, and dealing with bounties. Additionally, James needs to pay up with the Professor. He owes him a few filthy rhymes. The AET boss has learned a lesson, and asks Brownstone to come in for a talk. Will they fight each other, or will the Drow get a chance to kill them all? Brownstone won't back down. It's time to pay the price for saving a young girl, and James Brownstone never thinks twice. Laugh at just how much Brownstone can infuriate Shay.

TUMB 07/1 Brownstone gets a call from Trey, that his grandmother, Nana, needs to talk to him ASAP. If Trey called, it meant he couldn’t handle it, and that James was needed. He left after he and Shay had showered together.

Queen Laena was on Earth again, again questing for Princess of the Shadow Forged, Alison. Her three cohorts ( Zavan, Kaella and Reyal) told her that the Princess was protected by spells, cast by someone stronger that they. Laena was impatient to have the Princess on Oriceran, as there were duties that needed to be performed. She commanded them, “Locate the princess. Don’t cause too much trouble until then, but once you find her, I don’t care what you have to do as long as you return her to Oriceran. Once I have her there, I’ll have fewer restrictions on what I can do to ensure the power of our people.” As they were a focused group (unlike Widow Maker), he knew they would succeed. “James Brownstone,” Kaella announced. “He’s still our best lead. He will take us to her.”

Maria Hall again visits Dannec, the elf. She thanked him for his help in obtaining the magic-deflectors that were used in killing the Widow Maker He was glad that they had killed her, as she appeared to just enjoy killing. “Even Rhazdon rarely killed without a purpose.” Maria brought out some magic deflectors. “Can you recharge the ones we used?” Of course, for a price. Money, not favors. And Maria wondered if the Devil offered lower prices.

TUMB 07/2 Brownstone went to Nan’s house, Charlyce opening the door when he knocked. Nana was screaming at one of Trey’s bounty hunters, Lachlan, who had not made it as a bounty hunter, and had given up the gang when he disapproved of the direction in which Trey was leading. That had left Lachlan with nowhere to go, since no other gangs had dared try to move into the neighborhood. Lachlan tells her why he’s here, that he’s taking over the gang, and that anyone who stands in his way would be beaten down. And he didn’t care about respect. Lachlan snarled. “I want people to be afraid of me.” Nana tells him that the neighborhood already has a gang, and that as long as the gang works for Brownstone, Brownstone is the leader. Want to take him on? Lachlan needed to be put in his place before he went and spread this bullshit attitude to the other former gang members, so Brownstone knocks him around, and takes him to Royce, who “can turn you into something other than a piece of shit who yells at old ladies.”

Shay looks over some of the potential jobs Peyton has listed. Brownstone called and as he couldn’t make it back right away, he got her to agree to date that night. Nothing fancy.

WOTD 07/3 A Training session with Royce. The group addressed Royce as Staff Sergeant, because they respected the military—and the Marine Corps in particular, so the title still carried weight with them. “Part of not being a puppy pretending to be a man is commanding respect in difficult environments. At the end of the week, we’re going to find out who is the King of the Pit. Everyone’s going to get involved on two teams.” At this point Brownstone brought in Lachlan, and told Trey he had been disrespecting Nana, so he’d brought him to the group. As Trey was the Gang leader, he waved Royce down. “I got this,” he told him, meeting Lachlan’s eyes as he marched toward him. Trey and Lachlan trade insults. Trey know Lachlan needs to be taught a lesson, so he calls out Shorty, and A broad-shouldered man a good head shorter than Lachlan stepped out of the crowd, cracking his knuckles. James continued to watch impassively, understanding the importance of Trey working through the dynamics of his gang. Trey admonished Shorty. “Don’t beat him too bad, Shorty. I want him to be able to train without having to go the hospital first.” Shorty takes him out in two punches, so as long as Lachlan lost, he has to join the agency.

West and Lafayette were talking about taking down Red Eyes, that if Brownstone hadn’t of been there, they would have had a terrible time. They needed more resources. Manpower. People who can go places us cops can’t, but without a clear high-end threat, it’s not like we can request someone like Brownstone to show up. No, we can’t, but maybe we don’t have to. Brownstone’s not just Brownstone anymore. His agency. We don’t have a bunch of level fours, fives, or sixes running around, but we do have lower-level bounties. We should look into getting his agency to help us. It’ll also help get us in tighter with Brownstone should we need him.” They decided to check with the captain.

TUMB 07/4 Zavan, Kaella and Reyal were on Earth, in a rental, for three months, including Internet. Kaella worked will with that. Reyal had been tasked with finding a vehicle for them. Kaella had found you Tube, and she and Zavan watched many Brownstone videos, to try to ascertain what and who they would be encountering. they would be encountering. Enhanced human strength. Resistance to flames. Knife work. Defeated non-dead. The next few hours passed with them watching James Brownstone deliver beatdown after beatdown to a variety of enemies both magical and not, including him marching straight into the local Harriken headquarters after a rather explosive initial attack. Zavan feels he has let his victories go to his head, that his spirit has become weak.”

Trey and Brownstone talk about developing group teamwork – the BBQ teams. Split by sauces? By meats? Improve their skills by practice. Grilling area, at least once a week training AND a fringe benefit! Brownstone? Be his own team, and give bonuses to anyone who beats me at competitions!

Dannec thinks about his dealings with Hall, and his place on Earth. His people wouldn’t tolerate his return to Oriceran, but it didn’t matter. He had a place on Earth now, and respect of sorts. Some might call it exile, but he preferred to think of it as a new opportunity, the businesses he ran. As he is thinking, a chime sounds, and he finds that he is being alerted to the presence of Drow in Los Angeles. He can’t pinpoint their location yet, covered by spells. . Even if his own people had exiled him and he felt little loyalty to them, it didn’t change the fact that he despised Drow. He called Tyler and told him about the Drow. There are Drow in Los Angeles. From what I can tell, several of them. Dark Elves. The average Dark Elf is more powerful than the average Light Elf or Wood Elf. They’re not only powerful, but they are incredibly selfish and care only about their own people. If they are here, it doesn’t mean anything good for anyone else. Even if they are here for something very specific, it’s likely someone is going to be hurt or killed in the process. I’d heard rumors of them being in the area before, but I was out of town for some time on a business matter before my most recent encounter with the excitable Lieutenant Hall. They also might have been purposefully hiding their magical signatures.”“Huh. Okay. So these Drow are going to stir shit up and they are powerful, is what you’re saying.” Yes. Feel free to pass that along to whoever might find it useful.”

TUMB 07/5 Royce and Brownstone think up a competition the gang can join in – beating the King of the Pit. “Kicking their ass is exactly the point. It’s a pride thing with them. The winning team will get a twenty-minute rest and then take you on in the pit. When you win, they won’t feel bad because of your reputation and abilities, but they’ll feel good that they even got a shot at the true king.”

Maria Hall and Tyler talk about being a cop – what it really means if a cop is “dedicated”. Tyler thinks being a cop is just being in a bigger more badass gang. AET doesn’t arrest people for using magic. Doesn’t fuck with someone just for being from Oriceran. You stop assholes who have gone too far. It’s like being a firefighter, you know? All you do is save people’s lives.” .”Maybe, but any decent gang makes sure that other assholes don’t fuck with people on their turf. So it doesn’t change shit whether this is about protecting or serving or if this is just about me being mad there are assholes in my territory who aren’t wearing my gang colors.” “Don’t you get it? AET doesn’t arrest people for using magic. Doesn’t fuck with someone just for being from Oriceran. You stop assholes who have gone too far. It’s like being a firefighter, you know? All you do is save people’s lives.” They talk more about personal things.

TUMB 07/6 Brownstone couldn’t ignore that he needed to improve his dating skills as his relationship with Shay progressed. Shay had the experience of previous relationships to go on, but he was at a disadvantage since she was his first. For everything. He was listening to his radio as he drove along, to a relationships enrichment program, and he picked up many clues as to how to act around shay, and what to do to please her. James wanted their next date to be special, but he was having trouble figuring out how to accomplish that. After listening to the program, he decides that “I’m going with my gut. She fell in love with me, not some ballroom-dancing rifle champion. I’ve got to be me. Can’t be anyone else.” And that’s how he decided what to do on their special date.

West and Lafayette talk to their Captain about hiring the Brownstone agency as a help in cleaning up some of the smaller problems in their precinct. Not Brownstone, but the Agency, as the name would carry weight. We sweeten the pot with some sort of retainer and get some of these guys to help us in addition to the existing bounties.” The Captain agrees. He will put in the request, and they will contact the agency to see what the boundaries might be.

TUMB 07/7 Lachlan survives his first training session, with the help and commiseration of Shorty, Max, Kevin and Russell. Lachlan asks why they’re all so interested in following Brownstone, and joining the agency. Max asks,” “How many old gangbangers do you know, Lachlan? None. They die young.” “Being a bounty hunter ain’t safe. All sorts of guys are gonna try and kill you.” “Yeah, but the difference is we’ll be the ones planning when to go after a guy. That’s a hell of a lot different than some drive-by gang shit.” Working for the Brownstone Agency means we get to be badass, but still respectable. You know what I’m saying?” (Get more women). Then Lachlan comes up with the idea that Brownstone isn’t human, and who wants to work for an Alien? “I respect strength,” Shorty declared. “Don’t care what he is, and, well, he ain’t the Devil because he goes to church. Whatever else he is don’t bother me none.” Royce came over and congratulated him on his efforts, and that he would begin to learn the discipline. “Discipline always triumphs. In most pre-modern battles, you didn’t even see a lot of casualties until one side broke and ran. That was when they got cut down. They lost discipline.” Lachlan decides to stay a little longer. “At least I’ll get paid to exercise and learn shit for a while.”

TUMB 07/8 The entire Chapter involves a live-fire exercise with the Agency group (See Weapons, Weapons Training for a condensation).

TUMB 07/9 Charlyce sits at her desk, contemplating her status. It’s like a dream, but it’s real. A job, and a clean and sober future. She’d make sure not to squander it. West and Lafayette called from Las Vegas. (West had helped her rescue Dina, in Las Vegas). The department is interested in hiring the Brownstone Agency to provide support on a few cases. We understand that Brownstone himself is a high-level bounty hunter, but this is more about lower-level matters. It was actually your nephew or some of the others I understand will be working for the agency that we were looking to hire.” “You have bounties for Trey and the others in Las Vegas?” “Not necessarily bounties. In some cases, yes, but for others, we want the manpower and reach in addition to the bounty hunting.” Charlyce called Trey, told him about the opportunity, Trey backed off from any suggestions. He knew nothing about that side of the business. She was the Admin Assistant – she should have the ideas, Call him back when she had some worked out. Charlyce did have an idea, and called Pastor smith in Las Vegas, about his Hand Up Program. She now had a program that would be similar. It’s a swords-to-plowshares-type program for former gang members, and I’d just like a little advice on how to set that up. When she had it organized in her mind, returned Trey’s call. The key elements involved requesting flat fees for expected services, along with options for bonuses in addition to bounty values. The agency would guarantee the department a certain number of workers, as long as the police provided them the previously-agreed-upon fees. We’ll just need to keep track of the money flow from our accounts and the fees being provided by the Las Vegas Police. I’ve already got several of the forms and contracts printed and filled out for California, Nevada, Las Vegas, and Los Angeles. Either James or someone with authority will have to sign them, though.” Trey said he could do that. Trey gave her a bonus, from him, for her good work.

Charlyce visits Dina at the orphanage, (See Vehicles, Self-Driving Cars), bringing lots of gifts purchased with the bonus money Trey had given her. Talks with Father McCartney. “You’re giving these children a place to grow up where they know they’re cared about. That’s all anyone can do. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. I was loved, and I made my mistakes. I don’t blame no one but me for them.” Volunteers to stay and help cook dinner.

TUMB 07/10 The Date Brownstone goes to pick up Shay for the “date”. Today was a relationship maintenance day. The podcast stressed that the occasional surprise was good for a relationship, as was sharing activities. He’d texted Shay to tell her they wouldn’t have time for a date to throw her off. She’d never suspect he was going to ambush her for a special Brownstone Date Experience. Time for the perfect couples’ activity. (He had told her to “pack for trouble”.) “I figured we could do something different,” James rumbled. “This is a surprise date. Just figured the more shit we do together that we’re both into, the more fun we can have. Leland Carmichael,” James announced. “He’s the surprise. We’ll hit Venice Beach later, but the first part is him. He’s a freelance asshole who specializes in arson and car bombs. More than a few witnesses have conveniently died in fires or dropped their charges, including several ex-girlfriends. Leland gets off on smacking them around, you see. But the last one managed to get some hidden video and sent that off to the cops before she went into hiding. It was enough to get the bounty, along with the other evidence the police have on him. I’ve got a line on him. This guy’s known to have a lot of thugs helping him, and it’s good to have another person, especially since I’m not using the amulet, and I thought it’d be fun to do together.” “So, in other words, your idea of a surprise fun thing for us to do together is to go attack some dangerous bounty with a little army? It still sounds like fun.”

They go to a warehouse, rusty chain-link fence, bomb-trapped path in, at least a dozen guys with him (they didn’t want to kill them if possible - “This is way more fun than a fucking movie.”, Finally get to Leland’s Office. “You know what’s fun about this?” “There’s no millions of dollars on the line, no weird-ass super-magic weapons that will summon demons or upset the magical balance of power. It’s not like we’re even saving the world from some dangerous international criminal gang. It’s just some dicks we need to handle. . This was fun, but tomb raiding’s about more than just money to me. There’re things I want to know about the world, and it’s the only way I’ll find them out.” After Shay has Leland in handcuffs, she smirks, remarking, “My little Jamesey-poo miss his woman when she’s gone? Don’t worry. We can do some shit like this again soon. Nothing says ‘healthy relationship’ like time spent beating the shit out of criminals together.” After James delivers Leland to Sgt. Mack, they go to Venice Beach, and wander around, enjoying themselves. “I liked today, James, if that’s what this is about. It was fun.” She laughed. “And you pulling a surprise on me out of the blue! Huh. That’s the greatest surprise of them all.” She explains why. In bed that night, James understands why he has become so happy. I get it now. Before I was just living, but I didn’t have a reason. Now I have Alison and Shay. Two reasons.

The Professor calls. Meet him in two days re a job, and don’t forget that he’s still signed on to participate in the Bard of Filth Competition. He needed a ghost writer, an expert on depravity, but one who could keep their mouth shut and who he didn’t have to deal with on a regular basis.

TUMB 07/11 Brownstone calls Tyler, Makes an appointment to see him next morning, 10 AM. At Black Sun, to talk about a ghost writer. Tyler is delighted, as he can set up an event which will embarrass Brownstone, and make him some money. He pulls his Bitch List (list of 40 women who would pay money to see Brownstone). I’m going to text them all with a special Brownstone Date offer. I’m not going to guarantee anything but the fact that Brownstone will be in the bar at a certain time. Fifty dollars will get them the time and two drinks. Several of them will buy food and more drinks, so I’ll make thousands off Brownstone’s ass.” Maria Hall comes to the bar the next morning, before Brownstone gets there, sees the “ladies”, and puts in her bid to see the tape of the event, at no charge to her.

TUMB 07/12 Brownstone arrives, sees the ladies. They start jumping him, demanding autographs, rubbing against him, etc. He sees Tyler smirking, ad knows he’s been set up. He still needs to talk to Tyler, so calls out, “If you want to talk to me or get an autograph, go wait out in the parking lot in a line,” he announced. “I’ll be out in ten minutes. I’m not doing shit in here.” Brownstone talks to Tyler, tells him what he needs (someone who can be funny and filthy at the same time, and also have to be good at poetry and shit.” Tyler gave him a name and an address, and collected two hundred and fifty dollars. Brownstone escaped out the back door, barely making it away without running over someone.

He remembers the cameras, and calls Peyton for a hacker who could wipe the net to make them all disappear, before Shay saw them. Peyton asked why he couldn’t do it. “Something I don’t want Shay to know about, and I’m not gonna sit here and pretend what you do for me doesn’t get back to Shay.” He calls several, and continues to Anna Forsythe’s place.

TUMB 07/13 Brownstone goes to Anna’s place (See Characters, Anna Forsythe) Anna and James discuss exactly what humor is, and why it’s funny, and how it applies specifically to limericks and knock-knock jokes. I’d argue that the fundamental basis underlying humor is a betrayal of expectations. Although someone might anticipate where a good joke is going, the best humor surprises a person. People’s minds crave order, logic, progression. A good joke tricks that by taking advantage of that natural order. The limerick: The listener is trying to anticipate and autofill the final rhyme, but a good dirty limerick has a strong contrast between a clean beginning and a filthy ending. Maximum contrast. Maximum surprise. A good dirty limerick rides that liminal line between the sacred and the profane. In this society, we think of sex as simultaneously important, even sacred, and also as nothing more than animal-like fucking driven by the basest of instincts. A dirty limerick takes advantage of that tension and ambiguity to pop up with maximum surprise. It violates our societal taboos about what we should and shouldn’t talk about. (See Miscellaneous, Bard of Filth Competition.)

TUMB 07/14 Brownstone gets a call from one of the hackers, and makes a deal. “There was video of me taken in a bar called the Black Sun in Los Angeles this morning. The place is owned by an asshole named Tyler. I need you to find it and get rid of it. I don’t know where the security feed from the bar goes, and some people might have videos on their phones.” He wants it scrubbed from the Web, and from all extraneous cell phones and cameras. Twenty-five thousand for the job.”Done. Half up front, and half when finished.

Maria Hall goes to Dannec, who had requested a meeting. As she was on official business, she should wear her uniform. (Sympathetic magic). Dannec needs to warn her about the Drow who are in town. Dannec tells her about the Drow (See Species, Drow), and that they are so important that he will help with additional magic, at no charge. “Yes. A short-term loss of profit is preferable to the greater one that will come if these Drow are allowed to complete whatever nasty business they intend.” Now she has to find out about them.

Alison calls Brownstone, feels something is wrong. “I don’t know how to explain it. It’s like I can just feel something’s wrong deep in my gut, and I know it has something to do with LA. Something magical and bad. Just be careful, Dad. I know you’re tough, but it’s not like you’re invulnerable.” Brownstone doesn’t know about the Drow yet, so he is unaware of what she might be talking about.

TUMB 07/15 At Phillip‘s Bar-B-Q, when receives call from hacker he had hired, Heather. Your little meeting with the Ladies of the Brownstone Cult Auxiliary at that bar no longer exists. Because of how spread around it was already, the best strategy was just to nuke the whole thing. I was going to overlay footage from the previous day, but the cultists with their camera videos made that pointless. Doesn’t matter. The point is your shame is gone, Mr. Brownstone.” James calls Peyton to check that it has been done correctly. Peyton offers to do that for free, presuming he will find at least one copy of whatever it was Brownstone had wanted deleted. He found none. It was a good job. Peyton called Shay to tell her about the whole thing. She was, indeed somewhat curious, maybe even a little jealous, but after she had beaten down a couple of muggers who tried to get her, she felt better. Heather calls him, to confirm his cash transfer, only seconds after he had done it, and he wonders, Shit, is she in my accounts already?

TUMB 07/16 Maria Hall goes to Black Sun to confirm Tyler’s “business” arrangement, and Tyler tells her that “Three more groupies showed up the other night looking for him, two women and a man. Weird vibe around them. I don’t think they were the standard groupies. They weren’t all dressed sexy, but more like business douches. I trust my instincts. There was something off about them, so I mostly played dumb when they asked me about Brownstone.” Tyler and Maria rewound his video to that time, and found that their faces had been hazed over – only hazy air where their faces should be. Magic. Tyler then thought back on the morning meeting, with all of the ladies, and found that gone, also. He was upset.

Maria goes to the Oriceran Consulate,to ask about Drow, and talks to a pale Light Elf. ”Anyone in the consulate would be the first to admit the Drow can be very…feisty at times, but I can assure you that if we were aware of any dangerous individuals in the city, we would inform the human authorities immediately. Drow are very powerful, very selfish, very touchy, and very much a pain in the ass. I—and the consul, I can assure you—wouldn’t want them around any more than you do.” Maria asked them about the widow Maker – if she had been a Drow, and received no confirming information. There was nothing more to discuss, so Maria left. After the door closed, the air shimmered, and the consul appeared. He sighed and shook his head. “I’d thought we’d contained this, but now the human authorities all but know the truth about the Drow assassin. This is a disaster.” They will send out some tracers to check out the info on the three.

Trey and Brownstone talk about the Las Vegas deal. After talking with Aunt Charlyce and following up with the Vegas cops, this isn’t just a request for some short-term temporary help. To make this work, we’re gonna have to open an office in Las Vegas.” Brownstone agrees, and Trey, Royce and Charlyce will work it out. (Shifts, days off, pay, etc.)

Sgt. Mack calls Brownstone, asks him to come into office to meet with Hall. He’s not under arrest, a friendly meeting.

TUMB 07/17 Brownstone meets with Hall in an interrogation room, one-on-one. Mack reports, “She specifically wanted you to come in. AET asked me to reach out to you since I’ve worked with you for years and I used to be your landlord. They wanted this to be, in Hall’s words, ‘non-confrontational.’” While they wait for her, James asks Mack if he will co-captain a Brownstone agency BBQ team. The PFW team ?(Pretty Fucking Wonderful). Later. Hall comes in, asks Mack to leave, as this is an AET matter, nothing to do with general police business or bounty hunting.” Brownstone compliments her on her actions with the widow Maker. “You’re the main tactical team leader. It’s a compliment for you, too. I’m a shitty leader, so I give respect to those who aren’t.” Hall explains to Brownstone why she hates him so (See Characters, Maria Hall, TUMB 07/17). And why her perspective has changed. She tells him that the widow Maker was probably a Drow after him, and that the three who are now in town are probably after him, as well. And when these assholes come chasing you, AET wants a piece of their ass. I’ve been told the Drow are about the worst assholes you can have messing around, and I don’t need an infestation in my town. Given the shit I saw the last time we took down a Drow, we can’t risk them going after you in the city. You have to run, Brownstone, draw them away from a crowded area, and we can help. I don’t care where you take them. I just don’t want this shit going down in some park. Keep in touch, and AET will have your back.” And she gave him her phone # to call, when he needed it. Brownstone decided that, for Alison’s sake, he’d have to trust her. He couldn’t afford not to.

TUMB 07/18 Charlyce confirms starting date for Brownstone agency in Las Vegas. She, Trey, and three of the “boys” will go up, set it up, start. Will call when they arrive. Trey will call Brownstone to let him know they’ll be leaving. Brownstone meets the Professor at the Leanan Sídhe, and signed up for the Bard Competition on the way in. The professor made him give some examples of what he could do, (See Miscellaneous, Bard of Filth…) was satisfied with his efforts, and they talked business. The Professor wanted him to courier an artifact from Arizona to Los Angeles, one so dangerous that “ need to get this artifact out of anyone else’s hands. It’s too powerful for anyone to have it. Too much a temptation. And out of all the bad choices, you’re the least bad in my opinion. It’s been known to disrupt technology in the past. I’ll be providing you with a lead box that has been enchanted with various runes. Once you deliver it, I can stick it somewhere where even I won’t be able to get to it. “Why not just destroy it if it’s so dangerous?” “Because we’d need the equivalent of a Mount Doom worth of magic to destroy it. No single person has that much, so it’s easier to just hide the artifact.” The Professor will send him the address once he’s on the road. He’ll go to the address, and you’ll ask for the item being held for a Jake Greystone. “Don’t actually expect any trouble this time. This should be a simple pickup if you’re lucky.”

James decided that he’d better stop by the warehouse and get his amulet. He called Shay to tell her he was on a courier mission for the Professor, should be an easy one, and that he loved her. She, also, responded in like manner. She thought about her trust issues, and that “If I can’t learn to trust him, who the hell am I going to trust?” I’ll do better, James. I’m working on it. It’s just gonna take a while.”

TUMB 07/19 The Three Drow were headed towards Brownstone. “Soon we will force Brownstone to tell us where the princess is. Then we can leave this wretched planet and punish Brownstone for ever daring to interfere with the Drow.”

Brownstone arrived at Lake Treasures Pawn Shop. Dingy metal shelves filled with a variety of goods lined the cramped room, and a bored-looking woman, working a thick was of bubble gum, with an unruly mop of brown hair, sat behind a glass window. The window broke up the gate that otherwise blocked off the back half of the store. The bottom of the window was set atop a folding panel. James told her his name (Jake Greystone), and was handed a small ceramic figurine of a crying clown. The Clown of Doom. He paid the amount due, fifty dollars, and exited the shop. The nigh-indestructible super magic item was an ugly-ass clown figurine. It didn’t feel warm to the touch, glow, or move on its own. Some wizard had a good sense of humor. He opened the passenger door and opened the glyph-covered lead box. He tossed the figurine inside and closed the box before making his way around to the driver’s seat, and started back to Los Angeles.

Lieutenant Hall receives a call from the Oriceran consulate. “Because of the concerns you raised, I’ve been having my people pay closer attention to unusual magic in the greater Los Angeles area. They’ve been able to confirm there are three Drow in the county. Although it’s difficult to track them, they are currently heading east toward the Inland Empire at a high rate of speed. It was mere fortune that we have been able to track them at all. I strongly suspect they’re trying to keep a low magical profile.” No other information on vehicle or their description? No. Why east? Where was Brownstone right now?

TUMB 07/20 Brownstone ate at Rebel BBQ that day. he enjoyed a place that had a smoker right out front. It proved their confidence. They weren’t hiding anything from anyone. Thought about running a restaurant like that some day. Shay probably wouldn’t like it. The Porsche screamed down the highway. Their suppression spell should keep police attention off the vehicle as long as they drove by them fast enough. This was one of the few times she’d found technology helpful for magic. It’d also protect against scrying and most tracking spells as long as they kept moving fast. Brownstone was still far away from Los Angeles and whatever allies he had gathered there. His trip out of the city had decided his cruel fate. We’re coming, James Brownstone. Prepare to face the full might of the Drow.

Brownstone got a call from Hall., to call her ASAP. When he did, she had information on the whereabouts of the Drow. “Got Drow heading east out of LA. I think they’re finally making their move. I’m going to assume they are tracking you directly.” . “That means I can lead them somewhere real deserted. How about I head toward the Salton Sea?” “That’s a good choice. I’m going to pull some strings and scramble to catch up. AET doesn’t have long-range aircraft. Have to figure something out.” Brownstone is amazed that she’s going to help him. “Yeah. We’ve had our differences, but that doesn’t mean I want some assholes from Oriceran killing you. Like I said at the station, my eyes have been opened lately. I’m not saying we’re going to be best friends, Brownstone, but we should at least try to work better together.”

Trey sits with West and Lafayette in Las Vegas. “Sergeant Choi in Bounty Processing will be your primary contact. You’ll be meeting with him in about twenty minutes. We might work more closely with you in cases where you’re going after people wanted in connection with open homicide cases, though.” Trey offered a cool nod even as his heart tried to gallop out of his chest. He’d gotten used to the respect of Sergeant Mack, but he’d had contact with the man even before the Brownstone Agency. These two detectives in a new city were giving their respect without knowing anything other than that Trey and the boys were bounty hunters. Shit, I have really done it. Trey the gang leader is gone. Trey takes them to Jesse Rae’s for lunch. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell y’all. Things are different now. We’re on Team Brownstone. We stay with him, and we show our respect. The cops will show their respect back, especially when we bring down these nasty-ass criminals with bounties.” Michael, the owner of Jesse Rae’s steps out and talks to the group. “I didn’t realize everyone here worked for James.” “That’s right. We’re all part of the Brownstone Agency. James talks this place up so much I had to bring the boys to show them the truth. Hell, I think we’re going to be spending a lot of time here in the future.” “Any friends of James Brownstone are friends of mine. And going forward, any employee of the Brownstone Agency will get a ten percent discount.” Look out, Las Vegas. Trey Garfield and his boys are here. After lunch Trey and the team go to take out a bounty, Curtis Mayhew, and a friend. Trey and the team take them down, and then to the police station. A Level Two and a Level One. Trey shot Sergeant Choi a huge grin. The cop looked between him and the two suspects being shoved along by his boys. The cop stared at the battered bounties, pure disbelief etched on his face. . “That was damned fast. Don’t know if Brownstone himself could bring in two guys that quickly.” Kevin sauntered up and fluffed out his suit jacket. “That’s because we are the Brownstone Agency. We get shit done in hours what takes others a week.” Trey crossed his arms and nodded. He thought he’d known pride when he was a gang leader, thought he’d known pride when he’d caught his first bounty. That was nothing compared to the pride he felt in his team at that moment. “Now that you’ve said that, we’d best be living up to it in the future.”

TUMB 07/21 Sgt Mack heard a loud noise, went toward it. An armored AET officer turned the corner, his helmet in hand. “ have three presumed hostile level-five equivalents closing on James Brownstone at the Salton Sea. Lieutenant Hall’s lined up some helicopters to get us there to back him up. We’ve got full deflectors, railguns, rocket drones—the works. Full deployment package. We’re going to light those bastards up like we did that witch. If we don’t hurry, those level fives will shred him.” Mack want to go, too. “Follow me, but if Lieutenant Hall tells you to suck it then don’t blame me.”

James arrives at the Salton Sea, now a dried-up lake bed, and seems depressed. He didn’t think he could take on three magical Level Fives all at once. Shit. I can’t let it end like this. If I die here, I won’t even have said goodbye. He stepped out of the truck and answered his phone. It was Shay calling. He told her everything that was then happening with the Drow. “Don’t die, asshole. The only person allowed to kill your ass is me. I’ll get there and back you up. Somehow.” He responded, “Promise me one thing. That you’ll take care of Alison.” She promised. Shay sighed. “James, if you die there, I’ll never forgive you. I’m gonna hire a necromancer to bring you back just so I can kick your ass.” She hung up. . He called Alison, to say good-bye. She knew he was in trouble. “I hope you kick their asses all the way back to Oriceran. Remember, Dad, if you need it, you control the wish. You use it to survive.”

Shay called Peyton, commanding him to find someone who could do it ! For any amount of money! Alison called Shay, upset and threatening. Shay reassured her that he had back-up coming, and that he would be OK.

James waited. He had two major advantages going into the Drow confrontation. He’d expected a lot more trouble on the job, so he’d brought a standard layout, including his tactical harness, guns, multiple magazines, throwing knives. He had his healing and energy potions in a pouch. As long as he could still move, he could survive. He activated the amulet. It was curious. An unfamiliar location.

TUMB 07/22 The Fight Zavan looked around, And mentally complimented humans on their talent for destruction. “The humans have destroyed an entire lake. That would have taken powerful magic to accomplish. Foolish in a way that only an Atlantean or human might do something, but then again the humans remind me of them in so many ways.” Kaella commented, “Now that we’ve stopped moving, the suppression spell won’t help so much. If we’re being watched, they’ll soon find where we are because of the magical compass.” Zavan was asked, Why here? “I suspect he’s selected the battleground on which he wishes to die. “His plans are worthless unless they keep us away from him. We’re close now, so he’s failed, and he will suffer for his failure. ”They donned their three magic cloaks. . “Remember our orders. We need to find the princess. That should be foremost in our minds.” . “Questioning him is unnecessary. We can trace her essence from his corpse. The princess is key to the future of the Drow.” They could trace Brownstone as being close to them, not running. “Bravery,” Zavan suggested. “Respectable, but in this case, ultimately futile.”

Helicopters, thirty minutes out from the sight. Mack lacked full AET armor, but he did have a bulletproof vest—not that he thought it’d do him much good against magic. He and Hall talk. “Even the Scourge of Harriken is just a man in the end, Mack.” “And those Drow are just fancy elves. Magic may make you powerful, but it doesn’t make you immortal.”

Brownstone and the three meet, introduce themselves. “We bear you no ill will, Brownstone. We simply seek to recover that which belongs to our people. Where is the girl?” The amulet whispered in his mind. This time he could somewhat understand it. It wanted to fight. It wanted to test itself against the new foes, seeming to push him to battle. The amulet all but shouted in James’ mind. “This is your last chance, Brownstone,” Zavan announced. “Tell us where the princess is. He refused, Kaella charged him. James hit her, knocking her a good distance away. “If I’d hit a human that hard, he’d probably be dead now. You’re tough.” He cracked his knuckles. “But I’m beginning to wonder if I’m tougher.” The amulet’s joy spilled into his mind. The Drow all whipped their cloaks off and tossed them to the ground, squinting under the sun’s ray. They shimmered for a moment, and the three bland humans in suits vanished, replaced by three dark-skinned, white-haired, red-eyed Drow with long pointed ears. They all wore tight-fitting armor composed of tightly overlapping dark scales with an almost carapace-like appearance. Dark energy fields surrounded all three, and blades of pure shadow extended from their arms.

TUMB 07/23 The battle rages, with Brownstone getting wounded, and the three becoming more tired. Comments and insults were passes at all times. James heard a noise in the distance, but paid no attention to it, instead throwing a grenade at them. They were knocked to the ground, whereupon James grabbed a K-bar and assaulted Zavan, slamming the knife into his chest. Using magic, shredded James’ chest. The amulet continued to whisper. By now James could discern the happy texture of the mental communication with ease. At least someone was enjoying the fight. But James’ left arm was useless. With the Drow so close, he couldn’t go for his healing potion. He also needed a better strategy. Drow all raised a hand behind them and thrust them forward in unison. Three dark bolts shot toward James and slammed into him. He grunted, but unlike the first shadow bolt attack, the energy projectiles didn’t pierce his body. They dissipated like smoke on the wind. Only the jolt of the impact near his original chest wounds produced pain. The three launched another volley. James suddenly realized he had lost his K-Bar. A moment later, a blast of blue-green energy shot from each of them in a coordinated attack on James’ left leg. Burning agony consumed his leg, and James fell to one knee. Another joint attack blasted into his other leg. The energy burned another hole, but only singed the top of his leg. The amulet’s whispers had vanished, replaced by blasts of emotion, or at least that’s how James perceived it. Happiness. Satisfaction. More magical energy attacks – orbs, hazes, nimbuses. The near constant bombardment of the shadow comets left his entire body screaming, every nerve cell on fire. The amulet had finally gone silent. The Drow attack finally ended. “Don’t kill him. We still need to question him.

TUMB 07/24 Maria shot at Zavan. The loaded round roared out of the weapon. Zavan didn’t even have time to look before a hypervelocity shot slammed into him. He flew through the air with a new hole in his chest. Magical battles ensued between the AET and the three, Brownstone having crawled away to get to his pack for the healing potion. The AET officers continued to rain fire on the Drow, but they didn’t seem to be doing much damage. Maria threw a sonic grenade at Zavan, but it bounced off the shield dome he’d erected. Thirty seconds later, James’ clothes looked like he’d been run through a shredder, but his wounds were gone. He jumped to his feet and scooped his knife off the ground. He grabbed one of the AET guns, and opened fire on Reyal, who had grown wings and was flying. She fell to the ground, then rose again. Reyal crossed her arms in front of her and thrust out. A massive blue-green orb of flame shot toward James, crackling and roaring. Maria grimaced as the fireball exploded around the bounty hunter and sent his body tumbling, his clothes smoldering. His backpack slipped off, its straps mere burning threads now, and a small box flew out, smashed on the ground and cracked open. Something spilled out of it. Kaella screamed in frustration. She charged up the sloping lakebed toward several AET officers. Their stun bolts and bullets did little to slow her. Maria blasted her with the railgun. Again, little effect. “All units, I’m going to provide you some cover. When I give the signal, switch to your anti-magic bullet magazines, ” transmitted from Maria’s headset. Maria grabbed a small pink gem from her tactical belt—a little gift from Dannec. She arced the gem toward the Drow. A few yards out it exploded in a shower of scintillating particles. The Drow hissed and rushed backward, their arms in front of their faces, their shadowy auras weakening. Bullets ripped from the rifles and slammed into the Drow. They jerked and hissed as the enchanted rounds tore through their bodies, their shadow magic struggling to keep up. Then Zavan had a flash of inspiration. “The princess doesn’t have the legacy anymore, and the Drow don’t need half-human trash as a Princess of the Shadow Forged polluting our people.” He locked eyes with James. “We will just yank the legacy from you and leave this wretched place.” Two bolts of energy, one blue, one green, shot from Reyal and Kaella’s respective hands. They twisted around each other, their shuddering and twitching lines of energy joining together to form a larger blast, one headed straight toward James.

TUMB 07/25 James registered that he wasn’t dead. Two Drow had conjured a spell to drain Alison’s wish from him. Instead, he was standing there staring at the Drow, who looked as confused as James felt. It was then that he realized something was pulsing brightly on the ground. The glow was accompanied by a building whine. The Clown of Doom. Somehow the artifact had absorbed the magical release. He pitched the pulsing Clown of Doom straight at the Drow and their protective dome, clinging to some vague hope that the entire area wouldn’t go up in a magical explosion. The Clown of Doom collided with the Drows’ protective shield and shattered, producing a blinding flash, producing a shockwave that knocked most of them down, and killed the Drow. Kaella and Reyal lay on the ground, or at least their burnt husks did. Zavan’s still flesh-covered body lay face down on the ground. The amulet whispered quietly in James’ mind. Satisfied, maybe. Or smug. Zavan arose, and with his last energies wove a spell to send them all to a much darker place then In-between. A loud crack from behind accompanied Zavan’s head exploding like an overly ripe watermelon under a sledgehammer, and his body slumped to the ground. The dimensional hole above him sealed itself in a matter of seconds, and the wall of light faded from existence. Sergeant Mack stood in the distance, a sniper rifle in his hands and an expression of awe on his face. Mack laughed. “The bullet I just used cost more than my entire year’s salary.”

Chapter 26 The AET people were waiting for ambulances, or chatted. Shay looked around. Even though Peyton had located a wizard who could gate her directly to California for a ridiculous amount of money, she's obviously arrived for the aftermath. She went looking for Brownstone and ran into Maria Hall, who knew who she was. They talk about Shay and Brownstone, her prospects, and . "besides, the woman who looked like you is dead, and and the woman with your DNA is dead. There's no point in digging up the dead. Just don’t do shit in my jurisdiction and we won’t have a problem.” They parted. . Shay walked up to Brownstone. She threw her arms around him and leaned in to whisper into his ear, “Next time, wait for me.” They walked off to his truck, and went back home.

At the Brownstone Building. The group will find out who will be the Mud Kings. The group formed into their teams, and determined that the pink bandanas were the Mud Kings. Now they would try to take Brownstone. James won, and retained his title of Mud King.

Shay and Brownstone arrived at the Leanan Sídhe. It was the night of the Bard of Filth competition, and James had to check in with the Professor, telling him he had blown up the Clown of Doom, but not on purpose! “And I still haven’t had a chance to thank you for the job. I told you before, James. I wanted it out of circulation, but I didn’t know how to do that without risking people’s lives. If it blew up and helped you take down some right bastards, I don’t see the problem.”

The Competition was about to begin. The Professor started off with “Mr. James Brownstone himself is participating.” The crowd roared their approval. James shrugged. “As a condition of his participation, there will be no audio or visual recording. If anyone secretly records this you will be banned from this bar for the rest of your life, but let’s get on with it. We have four participants today, including myself and Mr. Brownstone. May the filthiest bard win!” went first of all, speaking his limerick. The silence of the tomb gripped the room after completion. The seconds ticked by until the crowd all but screamed in approval and laughter. (For all of these limericks, see Miscellaneous, Bard off Filth Competition). The Professor uttered his rebuttal. After the third round, only James and Smite-Williams remained. The Professor’s fourth and final salvo left James reeling, if only because he hadn’t realized the rhyming potential of Dolores. “Dethrone the champ if you dare, lad.” James spoke his final rhyme. A waitress went around with the voting box, and the bartender and another waitress counted the votes. “We have a winner,” the bartender announced. “The new Bard of Filth is…” “Our defending champion, Professor Smite-Williams. Shay stood and tugged on his hand. “Let’s get out of here. The Professor needs to mix with his adoring crowds, and I want to see if you can put words into action.” “What are you talking about?” She grinned. “It’s time for a little slaying.”