07 - Fight Fire With Fire

<< When Angels Cry

Series - The Unbelievable Mr Brownstone

TUMB 07/1 Brownstone gets a call from Trey, that his grandmother, Nana, needs to talk to him ASAP. If Trey called, it meant he couldn’t handle it, and that James was needed. He left after he and Shay had showered together.

Queen Laena was on Earth again, again questing for Princess of the Shadow Forged, Alison. Her three cohorts( Zavan, Kaella and Reyal) told her that the Princess was protected by spells, cast by someone stronger that they. Laena was impatient to have the Princess on Oriceran, as there were duties that needed to be performed. She commanded them, “Locate the princess. Don’t cause too much trouble until then, but once you find her, I don’t care what you have to do as long as you return her to Oriceran. Once I have her there, I’ll have fewer restrictions on what I can do to ensure the power of our people.” As they were a focused group (unlike Widow Maker), he knew they would succeed. “James Brownstone,” Kaella announced. “He’s still our best lead. He will take us to her.”

Maria Hall again visits Dannec, the elf. She thanked him for his help in obtaining the magic-deflectors that were used in killing the Widow Maker He was glad that they had killed her, as she appeared to just enjoy killing. “Even Rhazdon rarely killed without a purpose.” Maria brought out some magic deflectors. “Can you recharge the ones we used?” Of course, for a price. Money, not favors. And Maria wondered if the Devil offered lower prices.

TUMB 07/2 Brownstone went to Nan’s house, Charlyce opening the door when he knocked. Nana was screaming at one of Trey’s bounty hunters, Lachlan, who had not made it as a bounty hunter, and had given up the gang when he disapproved of the direction in which Trey was leading. That had left Lachlan with nowhere to go, since no other gangs had dared try to move into the neighborhood. Lachlan tells her why he’s here, that he’s taking over the gang, and that anyone who stands in his way would be beaten down. And he didn’t care about respect. Lachlan snarled. “I want people to be afraid of me.” Nana tells him that the neighborhood already has a gang, and that as long as the gang works for Brownstone, Brownstone is the leader. Want to take him on? Lachlan needed to be put in his place before he went and spread this bullshit attitude to the other former gang members, so Brownstone knocks him around, and takes him to Royce, who “can turn you into something other than a piece of shit who yells at old ladies.”

Shay looks over some of the potential jobs Peyton has listed. Brownstone called and as he couldn’t make it back right away, he got her to agree to date that night. Nothing fancy.

WOTD 07/3 A Training session with Royce. The group addressed Royce as Staff Sergeant, because they respected the military—and the Marine Corps in particular, so the title still carried weight with them. “Part of not being a puppy pretending to be a man is commanding respect in difficult environments. At the end of the week, we’re going to find out who is the King of the Pit. Everyone’s going to get involved on two teams.” At this point Brownstone brought in Lachlan, and told Trey he had been disrespecting Nana, so he’d brought him to the group. As Trey was the Gang leader, he waved Royce down. “I got this,” he told him, meeting Lachlan’s eyes as he marched toward him. Trey and Lachlan trade insults. Trey know Lachlan needs to be taught a lesson, so he calls out Shorty, and A broad-shouldered man a good head shorter than Lachlan stepped out of the crowd, cracking his knuckles. James continued to watch impassively, understanding the importance of Trey working through the dynamics of his gang. Trey admonished Shorty. “Don’t beat him too bad, Shorty. I want him to be able to train without having to go the hospital first.” Shorty takes him out in two punches, so as long as Lachlan lost, he has to join the agency.

West and Lafayette were talking about takin down Red eyes, that if Brownstone hadn’t of been there, they woud have had a terrible time. They needed more resources. Manpower. People who can go places us cops can’t, but without a clear high-end threat, it’s not like we can request someone like Brownstone to show up. No, we can’t, but maybe we don’t have to. Brownstone’s not just Brownstone anymore. His agency. We don’t have a bunch of level fours, fives, or sixes running around, but we do have lower-level bounties. We should look into getting his agency to help us. It’ll also help get us in tighter with Brownstone should we need him.” They decided to check with the captain.

TUMB 07/4 Zavan, Kaella and Reyal were on Earth, in a rental, for three months, including Internet. Kaella worked will with that. Reyal had been tasked with finding a vehicle for them. Kaella had found you Tube, and she and Zavan watched many Brownstone videos, to try to ascertain what and who they would be encountering. they would be encountering. Enhanced human strength. Resistance to flames. Knife work. Defeated non-dead. The next few hours passed with them watching James Brownstone deliver beatdown after beatdown to a variety of enemies both magical and not, including him marching straight into the local Harriken headquarters after a rather explosive initial attack. Zavan feels he has let his victories go to his head, that his spirit has become weak.”

Trey and Brownstone talk about developing group teamwork – the BBQ teams. Split by sauces? By meats? Improve their skills by practice. Grilling area, at least once a week training AND a fringe benefit! Brownstone? Be his own team, and give bonuses to anyone who beats me at competitions!

Dannec thinks about his dealings with Hall, and his place on Earth. His people wouldn’t tolerate his return to Oriceran, but it didn’t matter. He had a place on Earth now, and respect of sorts. Some might call it exile, but he preferred to think of it as a new opportunity, the businesses he ran. As he is thinking, a chime sounds, and he finds that he is being alerted to the presence of Drow in Los Angeles. He can’t pinpoint their location yet, covered by spells. . Even if his own people had exiled him and he felt little loyalty to them, it didn’t change the fact that he despised Drow. He called Tyler and told him about the Drow. There are Drow in Los Angeles. From what I can tell, several of them. Dark Elves. The average Dark Elf is more powerful than the average Light Elf or Wood Elf. They’re not only powerful, but they are incredibly selfish and care only about their own people. If they are here, it doesn’t mean anything good for anyone else. Even if they are here for something very specific, it’s likely someone is going to be hurt or killed in the process. I’d heard rumors of them being in the area before, but I was out of town for some time on a business matter before my most recent encounter with the excitable Lieutenant Hall. They also might have been purposefully hiding their magical signatures.”“Huh. Okay. So these Drow are going to stir shit up and they are powerful, is what you’re saying.” Yes. Feel free to pass that along to whoever might find it useful.”

TUMB 07/5 Royce and Brownstone think up a competition the gang can join in – beating the King of the Pit. “Kicking their ass is exactly the point. It’s a pride thing with them. The winning team will get a twenty-minute rest and then take you on in the pit. When you win, they won’t feel bad because of your reputation and abilities, but they’ll feel good that they even got a shot at the true king.”

Maria Hall and Tyler talk about being a cop – what it really means if a cop is “dedicated”. Tyler thinks being a cop is just being in a bigger more badass gang. AET doesn’t arrest people for using magic. Doesn’t fuck with someone just for being from Oriceran. You stop assholes who have gone too far. It’s like being a firefighter, you know? All you do is save people’s lives.” .”Maybe, but any decent gang makes sure that other assholes don’t fuck with people on their turf. So it doesn’t change shit whether this is about protecting or serving or if this is just about me being mad there are assholes in my territory who aren’t wearing my gang colors.” “Don’t you get it? AET doesn’t arrest people for using magic. Doesn’t fuck with someone just for being from Oriceran. You stop assholes who have gone too far. It’s like being a firefighter, you know? All you do is save people’s lives.”Thet talk more about personal things.

TUMB 07/6 Brownstone couldn’t ignore that he needed to improve his dating skills as his relationship with Shay progressed. Shay had the experience of previous relationships to go on, but he was at a disadvantage since she was his first. For everything. He was listening to his radio as he drove along, to a relationships enrichment program, and he picked up many clues as to how to act around shay, and what to do to please her. James wanted their next date to be special, but he was having trouble figuring out how to accomplish that. After listening to the program, he decides that “I’m going with my gut. She fell in love with me, not some ballroom-dancing rifle champion. I’ve got to be me. Can’t be anyone else.” And that’s how he decided what to do on their special date.

West and Lafayette talk to their Captain about hiring the Brownstone agency as a help in cleaning up some of the smaller problems in their precinct. Not Brownstone, but the Agency, as the name would carry weight. We sweeten the pot with some sort of retainer and get some of these guys to help us in addition to the existing bounties.” The Captain agrees. He will put in the request, and they will contact the agency to see what the boundaries might be.

TUMB 07/7 Lachlan survives his first training session, with the help and commiseration of Shorty, Max, Kevin and Russell. Lachlan asks why they’re all so interested ibn following Brownstone, and joining the agency. Max asks,” “How many old gangbangers do you know, Lachlan? None. They die young.” “Being a bounty hunter ain’t safe. All sorts of guys are gonna try and kill you.” “Yeah, but the difference is we’ll be the ones planning when to go after a guy. That’s hella different than some drive-by gang shit.” Working for the Brownstone Agency means we get to be badass, but still respectable. You know what I’m saying?” (Get more women). Then Lachlan comes up with the idea that Brownstone isn’t human, and who wants to work for an Alien? “I respect strength,” Shorty declared. “Don’t care what he is, and, well, he ain’t the Devil because he goes to church. Whatever else he is don’t bother me none.” Royce came over and congratulated him on his efforts, and that he would begin to learn the discipline. “Discipline always triumphs. In most pre-modern battles, you didn’t even see a lot of casualties until one side broke and ran. That was when they got cut down. They lost discipline.” Lachlan decides to sty a l little longer. “At least I’ll get paid to exercise and learn shit for a while.”

TUMB 07/8 The entire Chapter involves a live-fire exercise with the Agency group (See Weapons, Weapons Training for a condensation).

TUMB 07/9 Charlyce suts at her desk, contemplating her status. It’s like a dream, but it’s real. A job, and a clean and sober future. She’d make sure not to squander it. West and Lafayette called from Las Vegas. (West had helped her rescue Dina, in Las Vegas). The department is interested in hiring the Brownstone Agency to provide support on a few cases. We understand that Brownstone himself is a high-level bounty hunter, but this is more about lower-level matters. It was actually your nephew or some of the others I understand will be working for the agency that we were looking to hire.” “You have bounties for Trey and the others in Las Vegas?” “Not necessarily bounties. In some cases, yes, but for others, we want the manpower and reach in addition to the bounty hunting.” Charlyce called Trey, told him about the opportunity, Trey backed off from any suggestions. He knew nothing about that side of the business. She was the Admin Assistant – she should have the ideas, Call him back when she had some worked out. Charlyce did have an idea, and called Pastor smith in Las Vegas, about his Hand Up Program. She now had a program that would be similar. It’s a swords-to-plowshares-type program for former gang members, and I’d just like a little advice on how to set that up. When she had it organized in her mind, returned Trey’s call. The key elements involved requesting flat fees for expected services, along with options for bonuses in addition to bounty values. The agency would guarantee the We’ll just need to keep track of the money flow from our accounts and the fees being provided by the Las Vegas Police. I’ve already got several of the forms and contracts printed and filled out for California, Nevada, Las Vegas, and Los Angeles. Either James or someone with authority will have to sign them, though.” Trey said he could do that. Trey gave her a boin, from him, for her ggood work.

Charlyce visits Dina at the orphanage, (See vehicles, Self-Driving Cars), bringing lots of gifts purchased with the bonus money Trey had given her. Talks with Father McCartney. “You’re giving these children a place to grow up where they know they’re cared about. That’s all anyone can do. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. I was loved, and I made my mistakes. I don’t blame no one but me for them.” Volunteers to stay and help cook dinner.

TUMB 07/10 The Date Brownstone goes to pick up Shay for the “date”. Today was a relationship maintenance day. The podcast stressed that the occasional surprise was good for a relationship, as was sharing activities. He’d texted Shay to tell her they wouldn’t have time for a date to throw her off. She’d never suspect he was going to ambush her for a special Brownstone Date Experience. Time for the perfect couples’ activity. (He had told her to “pack for trouble”.) “I figured we could do something different,” James rumbled. “This is a surprise date. Just figured the more shit we do together that we’re both into, the more fun we can have. Leland Carmichael,” James announced. “He’s the surprise. We’ll hit Venice Beach later, but the first part is him. He’s a freelance asshole who specializes in arson and car bombs. More than a few witnesses have conveniently died in fires or dropped their charges, including several ex-girlfriends. Leland gets off on smacking them around, you see. But the last one managed to get some hidden video and sent that off to the cops before she went into hiding. It was enough to get the bounty, along with the other evidence the police have on him. I’ve got a line on him. This guy’s known to have a lot of thugs helping him, and it’s good to have another person, especially since I’m not using the amulet, and I thought it’d be fun to do together.” “So, in other words, your idea of a surprise fun thing for us to do together is to go attack some dangerous bounty with a little army? It still sounds like fun.”

They go to a warehouse, rusty chain-link fence, bomb-trapped path in, at least a dozen guys with him (they didn’t want to kill them if possible - “This is way more fun than a fucking movie.”, Finally get to Leland’s Office. “You know what’s fun about this?” “There’s no millions of dollars on the line, no weird-ass super-magic weapons that will summon demons or upset the magical balance of power. It’s not like we’re even saving the world from some dangerous international criminal gang. It’s just some dicks we need to handle. . This was fun, but tomb raiding’s about more than just money to me. There’re things I want to know about the world, and it’s the only way I’ll find them out.” After Shay has Leland in handcuffs, she smirks, remarking, “My little Jamesey-poo miss his woman when she’s gone? Don’t worry. We can do some shit like this again soon. Nothing says ‘healthy relationship’ like time spent beating the shit out of criminals together.” After James delivers Leland to Sgt. Mack, they go to Venice Beach, and wander around, enjoying themselves. “I liked today, James, if that’s what this is about. It was fun.” She laughed. “And you pulling a surprise on me out of the blue! Huh. That’s the greatest surprise of them all.” She explains why. In bed that night, James understands why he has become so happy. I get it now. Before I was just living, but I didn’t have a reason. Now I have Alison and Shay. Two reasons.

The Professor calls. Meet him in two days re a job, and don’t forget that he’s still signed on to participate in the Bard of Filth competition. He needed a ghost writer, an expert on depravity, but one who could keep their mouth shut and who he didn’t have to deal with on a regular basis.

TUMB 07/11 Brownstone calls Tyler, Makes an appointment to see him next morning, 10 AM. At Black Sun, to talk about a ghost writer. Tyler is delighted, as he can set up an event which will embarrass Brownstone, and make him some money. He pulls his Bitch List (list of 40 women who would pay money to see Brownstone). I’m going to text them all with a special Brownstone Date offer. I’m not going to guarantee anything but the fact that Brownstone will be in the bar at a certain time. Fifty dollars will get them the time and two drinks. Several of them will buy food and more drinks, so I’ll make thousands off Brownstone’s ass.” Maria Hall comes to the bar the next morning, before Brownstone gets there, sees the “ladies”, and puts in her bid to see the tape of the event, at no charge to her.

TUMB 07/12 Brownstone arrives, sees the ladies. Thet start jumping him, demanding autographs, rubbing against him, etc. He sees Tyler smirking, ad knows he’s been set up. He still needs to talk to Tyler, so calls out, “If you want to talk to me or get an autograph, go wait out in the parking lot in a line,” he announced. “I’ll be out in ten minutes. I’m not doing shit in here.” Brownstone talks to Tyler, tells him what he needs (someone who can be funny and filthy at the same time, and also have to be good at poetry and shit.” Tyler gave him a name and an address, and collected two hundred and fifty dollars. Brownstone escaped out the back door, barely making it away without running over someone.

He remembers the cameras, and calls Peyton for a hacker who could wipe the net to make them all disappear, before Shay saw them. Peyton asked why he couldn’t do it. “Something I don’t want Shay to know about, and I’m not gonna sit here and pretend what you do for me doesn’t get back to Shay.” He calls several, and continues to Anna Forsythe’s place.

TUMB 07/13 Brownstone goes to Anna’s place (See Characters, Anna Forsythe) Anna and Janes discuss exactly what humor is, and why it’s funny, and how it applies specifically to limericks and knock-knock jokes. I’d argue that the fundamental basis underlying humor is a betrayal of expectations. Although someone might anticipate where a good joke is going, the best humor surprises a person. People’s minds crave order, logic, progression. A good joke tricks that by taking advantage of that natural order. The limerick: The listener is trying to anticipate and autofill the final rhyme, but a good dirty limerick has a strong contrast between a clean beginning and a filthy ending. Maximum contrast. Maximum surprise. A good dirty limerick rides that liminal line between the sacred and the profane. In this society, we think of sex as simultaneously important, even sacred, and also as nothing more than animal-like fucking driven by the basest of instincts. A dirty limerick takes advantage of that tension and ambiguity to pop up with maximum surprise. It violates our societal taboos about what we should and shouldn’t talk about. (See Miscellaneous, Bard of Filth Competition.)

TUMB 07/14 Brownstone gets a call from one of the hackers, and makes a deal. “There was video of me taken in a bar called the Black Sun in Los Angeles this morning. The place is owned by an asshole named Tyler. I need you to find it and get rid of it. I don’t know where the security feed from the bar goes, and some people might have videos on their phones.” He wants it scrubbed from the Web, and from all extraneous cell phones and cameras. Twenty-five thousand for the job.”Done. Half up front, and half when finished.

Maria Hall goes to Dannec, who had requested a meeting. As she was on official business, she should wear her uniform. (Sympathetic magic). Dannec needs to warn her about the Drow who are in town. Dannec tells her about the Drow (See Species, Drow), and that they are so important that he will help with additional magic, at no charge. “Yes. A short-term loss of profit is preferable to the greater one that will come if these Drow are allowed to complete whatever nasty business they intend.” Now she has to find out about them.

Alison calls Brownstone, feels something is wrong. “I don’t know how to explain it. It’s like I can just feel something’s wrong deep in my gut, and I know it has something to do with LA. Something magical and bad. Just be careful, Dad. I know you’re tough, but it’s not like you’re invulnerable.” Brownstone doesn’t know about the Drow yet, so he is unaware of what she might be talking about.

TUMB 07/15 At Phillip‘s Bar-B-Q, when receives call from hacker he had hired, Heather. Your little meeting with the Ladies of the Brownstone Cult Auxiliary at that bar no longer exists. Because of how spread around it was already, the best strategy was just to nuke the whole thing. I was going to overlay footage from the previous day, but the cultists with their camera videos made that pointless. Doesn’t matter. The point is your shame is gone, Mr. Brownstone.” James calls Peyton to check that it has been done correctly. Peyton offers to do that for free, presuming he will find at least one copy of whatever it was Brownstone had wanted deleted. He found none. It was a good job. Peyton called Shay to tell her about the whole thing. She was, indeed somewhat curious, maybe even a little jealous, but after she had beaten down a couple of muggers who tried to get her, she felt better. Heather calls him, to confirm his cash transfer, only seconds after he had done it, and he wonders, Shit, is she in my accounts already?

TUMB 07/16 Maria Hall goes to Black Sun to confirm Tyler’s “business” arrangement, and Tyler tells her that “Three more groupies showed up the other night looking for him, two women and a man. Weird vibe around them. I don’t think they were the standard groupies. They weren’t all dressed sexy, but more like business douches. I trust my instincts. There was something off about them, so I mostly played dumb when they asked me about Brownstone.” Tyler and Maria rewound his video to that time, and found that their faces had been hazed over – only hazy air where their faces should be. Magic. Tyler then thought back on the morning meeting, with all of the ladies, and found that gone, also. He was upset.

Maria goes to the Oriceran Consulate,to ask about Drow, and talks to a pale Light Elf. ”Anyone in the consulate would be the first to admit the Drow can be very…feisty at times, but I can assure you that if we were aware of any dangerous individuals in the city, we would inform the human authorities immediately. Drow are very powerful, very selfish, very touchy, and very much a pain in the ass. I—and the consul, I can assure you—wouldn’t want them around any more than you do.” Maria asked them about the widow Maker – if she had been a Drow, and received no confirming information. There was nothing more to discuss, so Maria left. After the door closed, the air shimmered, and the consul appeared. He sighed and shook his head. “I’d thought we’d contained this, but now the human authorities all but know the truth about the Drow assassin. This is a disaster.” They will send out some tracers to check out the info on the three.

Trey and Brownstone talk about the Las Vegas deal. After talking with Aunt Charlyce and following up with the Vegas cops, this isn’t just a request for some short-term temporary help. To make this work, we’re gonna have to open an office in Las Vegas.” Brownstone agrees, and Trey, Royce and Charlyce will work it out. (Shifts, days off, pay, etc.)

Sgt. Mack calls Brownstone, asks him to come into office to meet with Hall. He’s not under arrest, a friendly meeting.

TUMB 07/17 Brownstone meets with Hall in an interrogation room, one-on-one. Mack reports, “She specifically wanted you to come in. AET asked me to reach out to you since I’ve worked with you for years and I used to be your landlord. They wanted this to be, in Hall’s words, ‘non-confrontational.’” While they wait for her, James asks Mack if he will co-captain a Brownstone agency BBQ team. The PFW team ?(Pretty Fucking Wonderful). Later. Hall comes in, asks Mack to leave, as this is an AET matter, nothing to do with general police business or bounty hunting.” Brownstone compliments her on her actions with the widow Maker. “You’re the main tactical team leader. It’s a compliment for you, too. I’m a shitty leader, so I give respect to those who aren’t.” Hall explains to Brownstone why she hates him so (See Characters, Maria Hall, TUMB 07/17). And why her perspective has changed. She tells him that the widow Maker was probably a Drow after him, and that the three who are now in town are probably after him, as well. And when these assholes come chasing you, AET wants a piece of their ass. I’ve been told the Drow are about the worst assholes you can have messing around, and I don’t need an infestation in my town. Given the shit I saw the last time we took down a Drow, we can’t risk them going after you in the city. You have to run, Brownstone, draw them away from a crowded area, and we can help. I don’t care where you take them. I just don’t want this shit going down in some park. Keep in touch, and AET will have your back.” And she gave him her phone # to call, when he needed it. Brownstone decided that, for Alison’s sake, he’d have to trust her. He couldn’t afford not to.